Saturday 11th April 2015 - Panic Buying

Once again I am being forced to cook dinner for a person who can cook both well and without crows feet appearing around their eyes. As a result I am having a nervous breakdown.

Laughably, I thought I was in control of the situation. I browsed my beloved Jamie Oliver 30 minute meal bible (which has been used, heretofore, to simply look at pictures of darling Jamie’s face), and selected a suitable recipe. What a walk in the park.

After work, I painted my nails and dabbled with rearranging the furniture. How foolish Scarlett. Rocked up to the stupid supermarket with an hour to go and they didn’t have ANY of my most vital ingredients. So I panicked and spent £40 on an array of organic vegetables and a pack of reduced fat feta cheese.

Send help quickly (preferably some form of chef).