Wednesday 29th April 2015 - IKEA

So today, I pottered down to IKEA to do a spot of shopping for my wee cubby hole. I purchased a delightful cushion, and also learnt a couple of new things:

1. I never realised that people use IKEA instead of their own homes. I’m not talking about a mere one or two stragglers. There was a person or two on every flipping sofa, having a natter and a catch up. One man thought it was appropriate to have a kip in a cushty chair with his mouth wide open, and I felt like I was intruding when I popped into a pretend bedroom to find a woman kicking back and having a relaxing game of Candy Crush.

2. I didn’t realise that shops accepted this. If you were to settle down and have a picnic in the middle of Sainsbury’s, they would have you out on your rear end before you’d had chance to crack open the custard creams. It’s the same principle, no?

It was very odd.

Go home people.